happy halloween, here are my secrets.

picture stolen from here.

I'm sitting here, in the darkness of halloween, wondering, thinking and dreaming. dreaming, about throwing huge parties just like marie antoinette did. i want to stay up all night and watch the sunset, i want to have ten dogs and i want to dance around in a castle in france. i'm dreaming about having love, just like the one in twilight, or in a swedish love story. i want to be looked upon as beautiful - and no, not physically, but mentally - so to speak. i want to be loved, unconditionally by a boy, a boy who i would live with. i want to be like edie sedgwick (pre drugaddiction). i want to be someones muse. i want people to think i'm mysterious. yes, i want that. i know that, to some, my teenage dreams may seem childish - and i'm sure they are - but, that's still my dreams. so now, i'm wondering, is there enough time? i mean, i'm like peter pan and pippi longstockings, i don't want to grow up. that sort of frightens me. responsobilities and all that there's to growing up. so, i don't want to miss anything. i want to live life now and be young - now that i am. i mean, i am really childish, very giggely and all that. but, allthough that's the way i want to be, i sometimes wish i was more mysterious, that i didn't talk as much, giggle as much or reveal as much about myself. still, i don't want to be that person, i want to be giggly and funny and childish. so, i can't decide. not that you suddenly decide to change your personality, you are who you are - and i'm still happy about who i am. sometimes, i just want so much. i want everything and maybe a little more. i don't like limits. it's funny, how i just mentioned that i don't want to reveal as much about myself as i do - still i write this long text revealling all of my latest thoughts. but hey, i guess that's blogging for you - right? anyway, happy halloween! i'm trick or treating, even though i didn't bring a costume. i can just be a mouse, or whatever. grey clothes...
these, are my precious confessions.
.e.