picture stolen from here.
I'm sitting here, in the darkness of halloween, wondering, thinking and dreaming. dreaming, about throwing huge parties just like marie antoinette did. i want to stay up all night and watch the sunset, i want to have ten dogs and i want to dance around in a castle in france. i'm dreaming about having love, just like the one in twilight, or in a swedish love story. i want to be looked upon as beautiful - and no, not physically, but mentally - so to speak. i want to be loved, unconditionally by a boy, a boy who i would live with. i want to be like edie sedgwick (pre drugaddiction). i want to be someones muse. i want people to think i'm mysterious. yes, i want that. i know that, to some, my teenage dreams may seem childish - and i'm sure they are - but, that's still my dreams. so now, i'm wondering, is there enough time? i mean, i'm like peter pan and pippi longstockings, i don't want to grow up. that sort of frightens me. responsobilities and all that there's to growing up. so, i don't want to miss anything. i want to live life now and be young - now that i am. i mean, i am really childish, very giggely and all that. but, allthough that's the way i want to be, i sometimes wish i was more mysterious, that i didn't talk as much, giggle as much or reveal as much about myself. still, i don't want to be that person, i want to be giggly and funny and childish. so, i can't decide. not that you suddenly decide to change your personality, you are who you are - and i'm still happy about who i am. sometimes, i just want so much. i want everything and maybe a little more. i don't like limits. it's funny, how i just mentioned that i don't want to reveal as much about myself as i do - still i write this long text revealling all of my latest thoughts. but hey, i guess that's blogging for you - right? anyway, happy halloween! i'm trick or treating, even though i didn't bring a costume. i can just be a mouse, or whatever. grey clothes...
these, are my precious confessions.